I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
