She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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