I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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