we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
