did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
