I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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