I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
