what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
