I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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