So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize