names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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