Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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