am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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