they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
