I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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