New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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