Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
