No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
