Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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