My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
