Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
jump out the window naked night went bad
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