i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
