I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
