I skipped work to stalk him.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
