honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
