check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
