If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
