I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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