I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
