i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
