remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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