piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
