No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize