My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
