Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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