I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
