we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
they need to just BURY HIM!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
