i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
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At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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