why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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