My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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