my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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