kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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