We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
