they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
