Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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