Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
