Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize