Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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