started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
