Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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