the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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