1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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