cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
