He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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