But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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