I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
