She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?