My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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