tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
