Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
